the kuntilanak is a ghost that appears with long dark hair and a pale white face. According to
Indonesian folklore, kuntilanak are the ghosts of women who suffered a violent death by men (i.e.
abusive husbands). They have long nails used to devour the bodies of men. Their desire to
retaliate against men is constantly debated.
do i have to die
in order to be left alone?
i’ve coiled my fingers
into a half fist
all my life
yet i still find myself
bearing witness
to all my wounds
all forms of
defense rendered
useless
the one that killed me
in order to stay alive
tells my story anyway
the only way i survived
was through a death
but i’m forever tethered
to the way
my body is suspended
in memory
i want you to feel this.
not the one who
is susceptible
to this circumstance
but the one who
turns this fear into fate
i will dig my nails
into another man’s skin
if it means
this will never happen again
Indonesian folklore, kuntilanak are the ghosts of women who suffered a violent death by men (i.e.
abusive husbands). They have long nails used to devour the bodies of men. Their desire to
retaliate against men is constantly debated.
do i have to die
in order to be left alone?
i’ve coiled my fingers
into a half fist
all my life
yet i still find myself
bearing witness
to all my wounds
all forms of
defense rendered
useless
the one that killed me
in order to stay alive
tells my story anyway
the only way i survived
was through a death
but i’m forever tethered
to the way
my body is suspended
in memory
i want you to feel this.
not the one who
is susceptible
to this circumstance
but the one who
turns this fear into fate
i will dig my nails
into another man’s skin
if it means
this will never happen again
Dena Igusti (she/they) is an Indonesian Muslim poet, playwright, and journalist based in Queens, New York. She is the co-founder of multidisciplinary arts collective UNCOMMON;YOU and literary press Short Line Review. She is a 2018 NYC Youth Poet Laureate Ambassador and 2017 Urban Word Federal Hall Fellow. She is a 2019 Player’s Theatre Resident Playwright for her co-written Off-Broadway production “Sharum”. She is an Ars Nova Emerging Leaders Fellow of Spring 2020. Her work has been featured in BOAAT Press, Peregrine Journal, and several other publications. She has performed at The Brooklyn Museum, The Apollo Theater, the 2018 Teen Vogue Summit, and several universities across the nation. Her forthcoming collection will be published with Game Over Books. You can find her work at denaigusti.com.